The anatomy of an epic baseball standoff.
So fucking powerful.
can’t get over this
I am very much slipping and I’m terrified.
Actually, I do eat. Actually, I used to be anorexic. I permanently damaged my body and that’s part of the reason it stays this way. I eat now. And I hate being reminded of how not eating makes me skinnier.
Is it possible that maybe I ride horses? That maybe I eat healthy? That maybe I walk a lot? That I have been blessed with decent genes?
Why is the only option we have in order to be skinny is to not eat?
I’m 5’2”. I weighed 108 pounds last time I was at the doctor a couple weeks ago. My BMI is 19.8. And it took me a year to get this way, meaning I forced myself to be okay with that number on the scale ever-approaching 110. I still struggle. I cried after that appointment seeing as the ER said I weighed 106 just the week before and I could not understand how I gained that weight. I do not have a scale in my home for that reason exactly… I obsess. I still struggle with my eating disorder.
No one tells you that it can become a lifelong battle. NO ONE warns you when all this starts. No one says it gives you tiny hairs all over your body. No one says your bones will be more brittle. No one says it will affect puberty. No one says it can affect your ability to someday have children. No one says you’ll suffer from simple triggers like someone’s offhanded comment on your size. No one says anything, except, “You’re so skinny!”
Ten years, nearly half of my life, was spent fighting with food and I’m now mostly (on most days) okay with how I look. Yeah, I have some love handles. Yeah, I have a bit of a tummy and I have an ass. I am not stick-thin like I used to be, but I like me like this. I look healthy. I feel, for the first time in my life, sexually attractive without my bones sticking out.
Maybe a lot of this has to do with the man who has repeatedly reminded me of how much he loves my body the way it is, how it looks perfect, that I don’t need to change anything. Every time I falter, he’s there, not to patronize me or laugh at me, but to gently remind me that there’s nothing wrong with me.
No one ever said anything to me, but maybe this will be my chance to say something to you. Eating disorders are terrible. They will try their hardest to destroy you… Even years after you’ve told yourself that you are okay. They are one of the hardest battles you will ever fight and I swear, it isn’t worth it. It is NOT worth the damage it does.
Please, don’t start this fight. It’s so much harder to get out of than you’d even imagine…(via writingexpectations)
I wish I didn’t know anyone who cared about me.
They shouldn’t have to put up with this.
I need a place like this.
hands down, still the best pick-up line i’ve heard in my life.
this hit me hard